i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
