I'm going to jail i love you
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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