do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
