For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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