what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
