I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize