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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  ugh. my soul tastes like vodka

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

  Fav 47 29894 1714

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (925): View more from California

  I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands

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• (845): View more from New York

  I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  next time on intervention

  Fav 1 2944 918

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

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  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note

  (1+44): View more from

  Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.

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• (562): View more from California

  Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.

  Fav 8 607 904

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.

  Fav 2 777 522

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