you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
