someone get that fucking seahorse.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
