Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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