What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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