i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
