just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize