The maid of honor just puked.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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