you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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