my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
