It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
