She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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