no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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