He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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