I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize