also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
