There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
