I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
