You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
