I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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