they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize