She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
