it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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