I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
