Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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