you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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