Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
