I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
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