after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
