My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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