So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
