He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
