I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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