Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize