if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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