I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
