i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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