hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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