Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
