is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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