Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
