can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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