Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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