Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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