She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize