i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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