gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dear god my vagina.
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