i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
