My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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