I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
