singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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