I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
