Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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