I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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