I can tuck mytits in my pants
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have aggressive nipples.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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