problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
