Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
