we have pet lesbian snakes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize