pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
