these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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