I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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